Ruling With a Sequined Fist

Although escorts are often scorned as being petty criminals or marginally intelligent meth queens with big dicks and bigger drug habits, there is actually a highly profitable class of prostitutes who get to be the glorious mistress of many rich people…one after the other.  They have advanced degrees, brilliant conversation skills, and big dicks too.  A top-notch escort in a major city can make more than $500,000 a year. There are three main skills required to be an escort: class, confidence, and discretion.

In order to make it to the top of the escorting food chain, you must first learn about the things moneyed chaps discuss: art, architecture, theater, high-brow gossip of the local city, and other topics. Make a point of cultivating good taste now while sucking dick for rent money so that high-class people feel comfortable around you. It is entirely possible that you will be asked to go out in public with your dates, so be sure to learn the required skills.

Confidence is required of you for a few reasons. The first is give the inner strength to use condoms all of the time. No amount of money is worth getting AIDS and dying. Period. Besides, involuntary “vacations” due to disease outbreak detract from money-making. In addition, if required to behave like a top, you will need confidence to tell your John what a pathetic faggot he is while you plow him.

Discretion is key for one main reason: dudes aren’t paying out top dollar because you’re just sooooo hot. No. They pay the amount they do to get you to shut the hell up about seeing them. Don’t kid yourself into thinking that you make hundreds of dollars an hour entirely due to your skill. Nope—it’s discretion. High-end clients could easily have their lives ruined by misplaced gossip, so keeping secrets is a key skill.   

If circumstance or desire compels you into this line of work, be sure to find yourself among the high-class ranks so you can more easily rationalize away the cons of courtesan life.  A note: it is extremely common, upon meeting new people, to ask what they do.  Unless you’re a punk rock girl, I would recommend coming up with an answer or you will have some very suspicious back-paddling to do at society functions.  “Freelance” works.

On the bright side, working as an escort means gaining audience with many very rich, very powerful men. They might be businessmen, theatrical producers, closeted politicians, or other high-fliers. Meeting the gay power brokers will give you a chance to see what kind of people make it the top—even if they’re bottoms! They probably won’t write letters of recommendation or dole out jobs, but you never can tell—there are instances where a John who wants a more permanent, mistress-like situation might give you a gig at their office.