A reader writes in:
Q: I’m not really turned on by the notion of sex with men, yet I desperately want to be fabulous. Please, beyond watching “Auntie Mame” for the gazillionth time, what can I do to be fabu?
A: No sex with men? How vivid. Since you were so wise as to lure me into overlooking your lack of homosexuality by referencing Auntie Mame I will indulge. If you want to become fabulous, you should indeed take in the tropes of our great Auntie. Let’s take a look, shall we? There is one characteristic that, above all else, Mame has: glamour. By that you may assume I refer to her house, her aversion to hateful Long Island yuppy scum, or perhaps her elevating couches. Nope—I refer entirely to the notion that no matter how terrible things get our Mame has a witty retort and the unflappable ability to effortlessly look to the bright side.
During that lengthy sequence in which she loses her fortune and takes a quixotic journey through the tawdry world of working for a living, she does not bemoan her situation. No, she employs the delicious tool of glamour—the amplification of diminishing of information to desired effect. It is, ultimately, managing the information surrounding yourself—being your own PR agent. “Oh please, I diminish my acne every day with five facial scrubs,” I hear you attempting to chime in, but follow along: this one’s far more complicated.
She minimizes the bad stuff (poverty, work, reality) and amplifies the desirable (wit, charm, friends, good cheer, fashion) to carry the day. Isn’t it strange that there is a main character who goes through a series of very unfortunate scenarios who never makes you feel bad? Not even once? Even when she’s in danger of losing her home? That is glamour. It does not matter what your circumstances are, only that you continually project the best possible situation. It will all be alright…if not, it will certainly feel like it.
Here is your homework assignment, my dear: take something in your world that is not even remotely fabulous—possibly even frightening. Describe it. Ok, what’s the worst that can happen? Will you die? Will you become homeless? Probably not. There—no reason to frown. That would be “just ghastly.” So think of how you could make you situation hopelessly festive and describe that. It could be something you already have and should focus upon instead of your dreary problems. Doesn’t that sound much more fun? Now hold the illusion long enough to fill the gaps between reality and your fiction and…poof!…its no longer a fantasy. Think of it like your hair. It may be curly and black, but you want straight and auburn…so get the tools to change it all the while imagining its already that glorious. Make your fantasy reality. Don’t be ghastly; be glamorous!
Need help becoming fabulous? Ask a question!
A suggestion, dear readers: please make you questions as specific as possible. It will help you receive a clear and concrete response.
