December 2009
8 posts
4 tags
How did you get to be divine?
A reader writes in:
Q: How did you get to be so wonderful - oh wait I meant divine!
A: Well, my dear, like most things in life it involves working very, very hard…when no one is looking. Obvious struggling is quite tragic and ill composed. I got to be as wonderful as I am by practicing the fine arts of faggotry for many, many years. Now it seems entirely effortless and it...
4 tags
6 tags
How can people who don't want to have sex with men...
A reader writes in:
Q: I’m not really turned on by the notion of sex with men, yet I desperately want to be fabulous. Please, beyond watching “Auntie Mame” for the gazillionth time, what can I do to be fabu?
A: No sex with men? How vivid. Since you were so wise as to lure me into overlooking your lack of homosexuality by referencing Auntie Mame I will indulge. If you want to...
4 tags
Need help becoming fabulous? Ask a question! →
4 tags
How do I cruise?
Q: I love meeting and chatting people up and all, but I want to get off right now. Where should I go?
A: There are a few places where you can get your rocks off the moment the desire arises. Wherever you go, you will be partaking in the age-old art of cruising. In the way of definitions, cruising is the practice of walking around a specified location looking to get laid. Now. Without all the...
5 tags
What to do with a trick after you get off
Q: So I picked up a trick and brought him back to my place. What should I do with him now?
A: Here’s an old joke that will help answer this question:
“What does a lesbian bring on a second date?”
“A U-Haul.”
“What does a gay man bring on a second date?”
“What’s a second date?”
There’s no good reason to let him stay. After you both cum you have only two obligations: giving him a towel to...
5 tags
How to get laid in style
Q: I’m really horny. Like…all the time. How should I go about getting laid?
A: One of the best ways to cultivate a sense of gay brilliance is to get laid. Often. By the hottest people you can find. There are many words for this activity, but everyone in the know refers to it as tricking. In order to get your tricking merit badge, you must do the following things:
1) Have sex with someone...